Lessons Learned While Insane

Y'all are the best. You truly are. Thank you so much for coming by to check on me while I was unavoidably detained. And thanks for all of the e-mails and comments you have left. Everything really IS going to be fine.

However, I truly believe that when your life is so hectic and out of control that you can hardly stand to talk about it, nobody else REALLY wants to hear about it, either. So I won't bore you with the gorey details of the last few days. But I have learned a few truths recently that I will share.

1. Regardless of what anyone else says or thinks, it is impossible to squeeze more than 24 hours out of a day. In fact, I've almost given up trying.
2. Never EVER say in a post what you are going to post the next day. It may not even happen in the next week and THEN you'll be stressed out over the whole "not keeping your word thing". (Of course, I think you'll only be stressed if you're one who makes a habit of keeping your word in the first place?)
3. Almost as many readers come by when I'm not "around" as when I am. (Am still grappling with the true meaning of this....)
4. If you let sick children sleep in the bed with you, YOU are GOING to get sick.
5. NEVER try to wake up a seven-year-old for a 5 a.m. curtain call when he's in the throes of a horrid nightmare. Even if the TV cameras will be there. Even if it's the only chance you may ever have to get video of your child performing in a Holiday classic. Patience is, indeed, a virtue.... TRUST ME.
6. I now understand the difference between cobblers and writers. When a writer falls asleep editing a book, she wakes up the next morning only to find that the book has, indeed, NOT been miraculously edited in the night as she slept.
7. When a 76-year-old man has a stroke (and survives) on the eve of being the exact age his own father was the day he died, he gets a new lease on life. And starts flirting with "all of the BEAUTIFUL doctors and nurses". A LOT. All that he will ever want to talk about will be "the BEAUTIFUL doctors and nurses". And this will leave his sickened daughter wondering, "Does this new passion of his have ANYTHING to do with the fact that he has been moved to a different floor EVERY DAY he's been in the hospital?" He's gotta be there for 5-10 more days for PT. There are only five floors and they're moving him to the fifth one today. I hope that all of the PT's are men. And ugly.
8. Oh. And for the record? Not yet sane. But ask me next week. Preferably on the 15th. That would be the day AFTER the boy's last Nutcracker performance, and the day BEFORE my birthday.
9. Almost forgot one...ALL of our friends (except for Moderate Voice who has been on top from the start) have moved up in the polls over at the Weblog Awards. Don't forget...vote EVERY DAY (just click here to vote) until Sunday the 12th!