Lessons Learned at Gap This Week

I'm not a Gap kind of girl. I don't like meeting "myself" as I walk down the street, so I don't generally shop at one of the world's largest clothing retailers for my "individual" look. However, this weekend I made an exception. I bought a few things and I learned a few things. I hope I don't sound like Bush 41 buying a carton of milk here, but what I am telling you here was news to me. And if you are married with young children, it just might be to you as well.

Let me set this up for you: I am almost 5'10'' and normally wear a Size 12-14 (depending on the holiday). Since I have had children, both my waist and lower belly have increased considerably from my Size 6 days. If any of this sounds remotely familiar, read on. I have a few tips for you that could save you HOURS in the dressing room....

First, throw convention to the wind: Ya' know those jeans that say Ultra Low Rise? The ones that conjur visions of Lindsay Lohan with a Brazilian wax that you feel like you can see? Well, step aside Lindsay--those jeans were made for hippy (in the physical sense) 30-something's with several pregnancies behind them. Now understand, Gap's idea of Ultra Low wouldn't pass the wax test of many youngsters these days (I think the EXTRA low rise might fit that bill). But the Ultras sit on your hips just right so that there is NO WAISTLINE BULGE! NONE. GONE.


I have never worn women's jeans--EVER. I have only worn men's jeans, because even when I was a stick, I hated the look of waisted pants and skirts on me. But I'm tellin' ya', you need to check out the Ultra Low Rise's. They are fab. I bought one pair of low rise and one pair of Ultras, and the Ultras are my fav's--hands down. And, by the way, the ultra's are on sale for half of what the regulars cost, as are the fab cords, so I bought this pair of cords which (at the prices) I basically got for free! (That's my story and I'm stickin' to it...)


Oh, and one more thing on their pants: If you are LONG legged like me, they have Long pants and jeans that (are you sitting down?) are actually LONG ENOUGH that you can wash AND dry them. Weird, huh?

Second, I don't know who they size their sweaters for, but an XL Gap sweater is very clearly sized for someone who is a Size 10-12 with no breasts. And this sweater--with the adorable rhinestone buttons and the sash tie?

Unless you are a stick--don't. Cute, cute...I know. I tried it on three times. But trust me--Don't. Even in an XXL and in Black. Just because they make it "in your size", doesn't mean you should wear it. The sash is SO wrong if you have any curves. Buy it for your neice who just had her second baby and came home from the hospital in her whomping Size 4's (I still love her!) and call it good.

I did buy a really cute button-up cardigan with a flower on the shoulder, which I will most likely wear OPEN since it seems a bit tight in the chest as well (and I am NOT particularly "busty". But there isn't a pic online.

The skirts were the big disappointment, though. They were so cute on the hanger--and SO WRONG on the body. I tried on this, this, this, this, this, and this. Only the last one looked right on me, but it wasn't well made (I think it was cut slightly off kilter) and had bulges all the way down the seam on both sides. The problem with the skirts is the length--it couldn't be less flattering. I would say that they looked like Granny skirts, but my grandmother wouldn't wear those lengths either. So you either have to go short, or shop somewhere else IMHO.

The next piece is, hands down, my favorite piece that I bought. It is supposedly THE jacket for winter this year, which would under some circumstances have me running shrieking for the door. However, it is so versatile and looks great with so many different pants and skirts that I am going to love wearing it--even if I see 20 other people wearing it on the same day. It is adorable on--very flattering and very slimming.


But I must admit that ...(drumroll please)... I bought it in a Size 16. (GASP!) And let me explain why: First, the Size 12 was WAY too tight. The 14 fit perfectly. But when I put it on over a turtleneck and jeans, it didn't look right. I learned long ago that you look slimmer if you're clothes are slightly larger than they should be rather than smaller. So I took into consideration that it IS the holidays and I want to be able to fit into it a month from now, and I bought large. Just trying to save you the trouble, here. Try on the larger sizes FIRST. With a shirt. And jeans.

Finally, I bought a scarf and three pairs of socks (no pic available). Cost me $30 for just those items--ON SALE. Then, I went to Wal-Mart and found scarves and socks--just as cute, just as colorful--for less than half of what I had paid at Gap. And remember that adorable rhinestone sweater with the sash that didn't "work"? Check this out--from Wal-Mart. $15.97.

And click here, then click on the inset to see the cute buttons. Had to have it. And the shell to match. AND two additional scarves and three more pair of socks. Total at Walmart? Under $50.

And so, there you have it: The lessons I learned at Gap (and Wal-Mart) this week. Hope it saves you a bit of time and trouble this season. Cheers!