Tall Poppy Diaries

Observations and musings on life as a happy high-achiever (or what the Aussie's call a "Tall Poppy" ). "Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded, or how much power you have." --Oprah Winfrey

Saturday, August 28, 2004


  Tips for Making "Making Friends" Fun

Yesterday, there were a couple of posts on blogs I visit about how hard it can be to make friends as an adult. Check Yes or No on Mad Mommy Chronicles and Wanna Share My Crayons from Java Diva are two examples. An excerpt from Check Yes or No reads:

"When we are all together at our weekly jaunts to the Mexican Restaurant,it rarely fails that at some point in the evening the "remember when" stories start.I don't remember when, because I'm new."

Having moved A LOT in my lifetime, I have a few tips on how to meet women, get to know them, orchestrate your own "memorable moments" and figure out who might really be your kind of friend. You can adapt them to your own situation and environment, but here are a few of my favorites:

1) Throw a "Porch Party" for different groups of women to celebrate milestone birthdays, event wrap-ups, etc. I choose a group of women I want to know better, invite EVERYONE in the group, and sometimes invite them to bring friends. We sit on our porch and have salad, a refreshing drink, and dessert. I don't really have to scrub the house because we spend most of the time on the porch. The kids play in the yard and we all have a chance to REALLY talk. Nobody else in the neighborhood does these parties, so people talk about them all the time! Plus it is VERY low-maintenance fun.

2) Arrange three or four "Girl's Night Out" events a year and invite all of the mothers in your child's school class. I call the $1 movie theater to see what's playing, write a note on the computer in a cute font, copy 3-4 to a page and run out enough for every mother (and the teacher). Then, I cut them apart, take them to my child's school and put them in each child's "take home folder". I always schedule it for the 9:00pm movie so that at least the young kids are in bed and women feel better about leaving Daddy in charge (this is an issue for many women!). Women will get there early and stay late just so they can talk without children pulling on their legs. And at the price, it's a guilt-free pleasure for just about everyone. If there are single mothers in your group, you might ask an older child to babysit for the mother that night.

3) Plan a McDonald's PlayPlace playdate for the entire class. We have done this several times with great success. The kids play and the mothers sit and talk. Plan the playdate for either an early or late lunch so that there will be enough tables for everyone (we meet either at 11:00 am or 1:30 pm since lots of people eat a late breakfast on Saturday).

4) Volunteer for a local charity group. This is how I have met some of my favorite girlfriends. Not only is volunteering good for the group and your community, but like-minded women whom you might not have gotten to know otherwise will be involved and ready to get to know you.

There are numerous others, but these are my favorite "memory building" gatherings. Sometimes you can do something simple that nobody else has ever thought of, and the importance of it in other people's minds can become extraordinary...especially if you include "everyone".

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