My Best Friend's Wedding, Part 1: Lost In Orlando

Wednesday: Having never gone to bed on Tuesday night, I was quite exhausted by the time I arrived in Orlando over an hour behind schedule. However, there was to be no rest for the weary, as my late arrival in Orlando signaled a seemingly catastrophic series of unfortunate events. In the end I missed my "meet-up" with friends, but I smiled and talked my way into a double upgrade on my rental car and found the After-hours innkeeper for the Eo Inn who let me know how to get into the hotel (the desk is closed and the hotel is locked up for the night at 7 pm)--optimistically assuming that I would eventually be able to find my way there in the first place!

As I was driving around Lost in Orlando, I stopped at a grocery store to pick up a few things I needed/wanted. I found FRESH raw oysters in their gourmet deli section (which had been closed for hours) and decided that I was not leaving the store without them. Fortunately, the manager agreed that it would be wrong to send me off without them, and I headed off to find The Eo-- armed with the knowledge that if I ever did, indeed, arrive at my destination, I would be feasting on a one-pound tub of FRESH oysters and saltines with cocktail sauce and fresh horseradish. YUM!

At about 10 pm, I walked into my lovely suite at the Eo (click on this link, then click Room Rates on the left side to see pictures. The bathroom pictured is just like mine, but my room and bed were bigger than this and had two huge velvet chairs with ottomans), changed into my Eo bathrobe, grabbed my oysters with the fixings, plopped myself onto the comfortable velvet chaise, and turned on the TV. Much to my delight, I was then reminded that in the East, Sex and the City comes on at 10pm! So I sat there in my robe, eating my oysters, watching "The Girls", contemplating the hour-long tub soak I would be enjoying after "dinner"--and basked in the perfect ending to an utterly imperfect day.

Thursday: Thursday morning I started my day on the phone with Scarlet, solving the problems of Blogger and, well, the entire blogging universe really, in two hours or less. Then Dewey's parents picked me up for lunch, and after spending the mandatory 30-45 minutes Lost in Orlando, we made it to McCormick and Schmick. Dewey's mother was as lovely and delightful as ever. His father was equally (and deliciously) indiscreet with the family stories.

So after sharing a wonderful seafood feast, many laughs and having heard several Dewey stories from the Pre-Me years that I feel certain were never meant for my ears, we headed back to the Eo where I picked up my car and headed to Hollywood Tan. Yes, ladies and gentlemen--I stood naked in an aluminum capsule wearing a shower cap and doing a disco-esque dance move (both arms up, right knee up, turn to the left and down. Now, both arms up, left knee up, turn to the right and down. Repeat.) that supposedly promoted even distribution of the brown grunge I paid those people $25 to spew all over my body. All I know is that if there was a hidden camera in that thing and my husband ever decides to run for public office again--well, let's just say: He needn't bother. That six seconds of footage would leave Dukakis' tank maneuver's in the dust.

After I left Hollywood Tan covered in brown grunge, I decided to go all out and have tips put on since I broke three nails to the quick the day before I left. All I have to say to THOSE people at the salon is "Find a new brand of glue" 'cause when the tips were on my fingers, they were gorgeous. But when I shook hands with someone and they pulled away with one of my nails stuck to their palm? NOT good.

But I headed back to the Eo to prepare for my "meetup" with Dewey, Dana, Dew's brother Peter and his wife, and some of Dew's friends from Charlotte, NC. feeling very well manicured and very orangey-brown. And yes. I wore The Skirt and The Boots out that night. And I got hit on by strange, drunk men (none of whom were in our group, thank goodness) all night long. So does that mean that the outfit was a success? Hmmmm.... I also totally ignored that pinky finger nail that someone was so thoughtful to put up on the table where its owner could retrieve it. I hid my left hand all night long, and then grabbed the nail from the table as I walked out the door. Aaarrggghhh...

With the exception of having to look at my fake nail laying on the table all night, the most disconcerting thing that happened? Dana greeted me when they walked in and thanked me for the great gift. So I started telling her how I had bowls that were similar and I had a hard time deciding which ones to get for her, and she can exchange them if she prefers a different style, etc. She stares at me blankly and says, "Bowls? What bowls? I haven't gotten any bowls. I got the Williams-Sonoma salad stuff--And I LOVE it! But there were bowls? 'Cause I didn't get any bowls." Yep. The Tiffany bowls that were supposed to be delivered on Monday had not yet arrived. And this knowledge set off a chain of events the next day...well, I'll tell you that story when we get there. But it involves two VERY important words. Jimmy. Choo. 'Nuff said.

Anyway, I sat by Dana the whole night. And I REALLY do like her. A lot. She is very sweet, very cool and most importantly, seems to tolerate me pretty well. I think that this whole friendship thing honestly could work with her. I never felt that way with any of the other "girlfriends", but Dewey got his act together on this one. I like her parents, too. Especially her step-mom, Patty. Tall Poppies? Mmm-hmm. Think so.

Next up: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Tiffany's...